You have just been through probably the most horrific and precious moment of your life all at the same time, in the same moment.
Mear seconds after you deliver this little miracle, your tiny human is being cleaned up, checked over, and once the doc gives the tiny human medical clearance, she or he is placed in your arms and off to the maternity ward you go.
This is where the real fun begins.
I like most moms had no idea what the hell I was doing. I was terrified, 100% holy-shit terrified. I didn’t know what I was doing, even something simple as diaper changing was awkward and I am guessing for most first time mommies the experience is the same.
That is when it happens.
At the moment when you are at your most vulnerable, everyone starts to give you “advice,” “tips,” and “suggestions” on how to deal with this new tiny human. You are faced with an overwhelming flood of unsolicited parenting advice that you never asked for, and do not want.
The thing about unsolicited parenting advice is, it feels like it is an attack on your ability to be a good parent.
From my experience, I have compiled the top five things that you should never, ever say to a new mom……
#5 – “it’s OK you will loose the baby weight in no time.”
Excuse me, what.
After you have carried a tiny human in your belly for the past 10 (yes 10 NOT 9) months, and you have delivered said human, people will STILL comment about how you look (as if you didn’t have enough comments about what you looked like pregnant).
First off, what if I do not lose the baby weight, what if it is here to stay. Does that make me a person who is unable to parent. Nope. Does it make me a horrible person. Nope. Does it even matter to anyone but the person who looks back at me in the mirror.
By saying this to a mom who has recently given birth you are telling them two things, one they do not look good now, and two they better look better later.
If you have a new mom in your life. We DO NOT want your opinion about what you think our body should, will or can look like.
If you are a new mom, and someone says this to you, the response is very simple.
Just say to them “Sure, maybe we can lose weight together.”
They’ll shut up.
#4- “Enjoy them now it only gets harder when they get older”
Nope. INCORRECT. *head shakes vigorously*
I have a 4 1/2 month old and I can assure you (new mommy who stumbled across my blog) it gets easier.
First, the tiny human can hold there own head up at about the two month mark. Second, they start sleeping through the night, and Third you will eventually be able to enjoy a HOT cup of coffee. It gets different. Not harder.
Let me assure you new-mommy, it gets easier.
#3- “You should sleep when the baby sleeps”
So I shouldn’t eat then, clean, do laundry I guess.
Yes, sleep as a new mom is important on so many levels. It is important for moms recovery and sanity. However, it is not always possible.
Instead of pointing out the obvious to the new mom in your life, try and help her out by coming over and watching the baby for a bit so she can get some rest.
#2- “When are you having your second”
This is the most annoying question I have received as a new mom.
First, I just pushed this tiny human out of my hoo-haa I am not wanting to sign up for that again thank you very much.
Also, what if I do not want a second, or I can not have a second.
Like my husband always says, one miracle at a time.
#1- Any Questions, Comments or Suggestions on how the tiny human is fed.
Breast is best.
Formula is best.
Formula and breast feeding together is best.
You should start feeding your baby solids at 5 months.
You should start feeding your baby solids at 10 years.
I had no problem with breast-feeding, its weird that you do.
Your baby is not going to have an immune system if you do not breast feed.
Did you know that formula fed babies grow up to be ax-murders. Its true. I saw it on-line, you should google it.
Have you tried pumping every 30 min, that would work, you shouldn’t just give up.
All of the above comments are very common to a new mom, let me make it clear to you if you do not understand…..
IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS HOW MY CHILD IS FED.
Even if you are good friend, or a close family member, do not stress out the new mom in your life by having an opinion on something that does not concern you.
If you are a new mom and you are faced with unsolicited parenting advice, just do what I do, ignore what the person is saying and move on with your day.